Maybe We're Getting A Little Too Personal Here....
Poor Mel is not feeling altogether wonderful today. In fact, she's feeling downright out of sorts, bloated and...
(I've just turned around and asked her how else she might describe her current state, to which I just got what could best be described as 'a glare that would melt the fridge'. I've also subsequently been forbidden to eat any of her cookies.)
...and crampy and sick to her stomach. In short, she's PMSing.
Yes indeed, this is one of those little feminine moments men would as soon stay far away from. Roughly 2-3 time zones, give or take a continent. It's not because we're insensitive. It really has nothing to do with the fact that we have never gone through the same thing. It more has to do with the simple fact that we must always listen to women grumbling and growling about it, and somehow finding the fault for this with us.
And in a machoistic move that will no doubt seal my fate, it's not our fault they have an extra X chromosome. Hell, guys are always held at fault for everything in life, and all because we possess that dreaded Y chromosome. So it seems only fair for us that some of the fault be shared.
And Mel has just informed me that yes, it
IS our fault that women have the extra X chromosome. Basic Mendellian genetic principles have betrayed me! You may just want to forget about that last paragraph in light of this.
But getting back to PMS. It's remarkable how a subject rarely broached between couples early on, if not deemed downright unspeakable and unnamable, becomes something that must be dealt with by the time they're either common-law or married. I'm smugly pleased to say that the whole concept is not as unnerving as I once feared it might be.
Happily this is mostly due to how Mel handles it. Namely she feels sick, and tends to have the look of one of those sad, sick little teddy bears at the Stuffed Animal clinic kids imagine during playtime. Your heart goes out to them, and you just want to cuddle them in your arms and think positive thoughts that will make the pain all go away.
In contrast, Mel's told me that the rest of her family handles PMS in the more angry, violent, "Didn't I see you on the Jerry Springer brawl yesterday?" way. I'm so happy Mel got the recessive gene for this. And I've openly admitted to Mel that if she handled it the way her mother and sisters did, I'd gladly avoid her "Mel kill!" state by working an opening to closing shift at work.
To which Mel replied, "Whatever happened to that whole 'in sickness and health' part of our vows?"
I answered, "Hey, I'm all for the sickness and health part. But PMS does not count as sickness. That's a whole other thing."
It was right about here that Mel indignantly crossed her arms over her chest and flat-out told me, "Next time we renew our vows, I'm adding that little clause to it."
So if anyone's attending our renewal of vows some 25 years from now, think back to this little bit of nowhere and see whether or not I have to say, "In sickness and in health, and when you're PMSing, for richer and for poorer...."
Today's Lesson: it IS our fault, even on the genetic level.
posted by Phillip at 7:26 PM
